Let's talk about hollow words of wisdom

When someone is job hunting, especially for an extended period, they often hear a predictable set of advice: “Keep pushing forward,” “Things will get better,” “You just have to stay positive.” This sounds remarkably similar to what someone struggling with suicidal thoughts is told: “Stay strong,” “This too shall pass,” “You are stronger than you think.” The overlap is unsettling, not just because the situations are so vastly different but because these words can feel hollow to both groups.

What happens when the same recycled wisdom gets applied to both a job seeker struggling to pay rent and someone battling life-or-death feelings? For both, it often misses the mark.

The Striking Similarity in Language

On the surface, it seems harmless. Positive affirmations and words of encouragement are supposed to lift you up, whether you're battling depression or just struggling to land your next job. But for the person hearing these words, they can feel anything but comforting. They may come across as dismissive or reductive—offering blanket solutions to deeply personal and complex problems.

For job seekers, hearing "things will get better" when rent is overdue and rejection emails pile up feels like a slap in the face. Similarly, for someone who is considering ending their life, hearing "stay strong" can feel trivial, like the person doesn’t understand the crushing weight of their despair.

These words don’t just feel hollow—they start to feel invalidating, as if the depth of the problem isn’t being taken seriously.

The Invisibility of Despair

Despair, whether it comes from unemployment or suicidal ideation, is an isolating experience. It's invisible. From the outside, both a job seeker and a suicidal person might seem fine—or at least not that bad. They might even put on a brave face. This invisibility can lead to people offering generic solutions, because they don’t see—or maybe don’t want to see—the depth of the pain the other person is feeling.

But when someone’s entire existence is unraveling, either because they can’t find work or because they’re overwhelmed by depression, hearing “keep going” can feel as though their suffering isn’t being acknowledged. It’s a way of brushing past the pain rather than sitting with it.

Both groups are often left to wonder: does anyone truly understand how bad this is?

Why It Feels Hollow

One reason these words feel hollow is that they offer no tangible help. Telling someone to “stay strong” doesn’t alleviate the crushing sense of hopelessness. Telling a job seeker “something will come along” doesn’t pay the bills or stop the anxiety gnawing at them.

When someone is drowning in despair, what they need isn’t platitudes—they need action, understanding, and sometimes even a little bit of shared silence.

There’s a lack of legitimacy given to the emotional turmoil both job seekers and those contemplating suicide experience. It's not enough to hope things will get better; they need help navigating the in-between—the long, dark, uncertain stretch that makes it hard to believe in anything at all.

Validating the Despair

Both suicidal people and long-term job seekers are often dealing with very real, very legitimate pain. For someone struggling to find a job, the sense of failure can become overwhelming. They start to question their worth, their place in the world, their identity. For someone struggling with suicidal thoughts, those same questions might be compounded by mental illness or trauma, making it feel like the only way out is an end.

In both cases, despair is valid. It's not something to be waved away with feel-good mantras. People need space to grieve their situation, to feel the weight of their struggle without being told to “just stay positive.”

For the job seeker, unemployment isn’t just about the lack of income—it’s the loss of identity, the constant rejection, the societal pressure to be "productive." For the suicidal person, it’s the emotional agony that makes existing feel unbearable. These aren’t small, passing inconveniences—they’re profound emotional and psychological battles.

What People Really Need

What both groups need, more than anything, is for someone to see their pain—not try to fix it with empty words, but acknowledge it. They need space to express their frustrations, their fears, and their despair without judgment or rushed reassurances that everything will turn out fine.

They need practical support—whether it’s financial help, job leads, or professional mental health services. More than anything, they need someone to walk alongside them in the uncertainty, not push them toward a false optimism. They need validation of their emotional reality.

Because when someone is in deep despair—whether from endless job rejections or thoughts of ending their life—their pain is real, and it deserves to be treated as such.

Moving Beyond Platitudes

So, what do you say to someone in despair that doesn’t feel hollow?

It’s not about offering empty reassurances. Instead, it’s about offering real support: “Let me know how I can help you.”

This phrase shifts the dynamic from passive sympathy to active engagement. It acknowledges their pain and offers them a sense of agency, allowing them to define what kind of help they actually need. Whether it's reviewing a resume, sending job leads, sitting in silence, or helping them find professional mental health resources, you're giving them the space to express what they need most at that moment.

Because people in despair, whether it’s from job rejections or suicidal thoughts, don’t just need to hear that things will get better—they need actionable support. They need someone who’s willing to stand with them in the hard parts, to actively help them navigate the uncertainty, and to show that their pain isn’t invisible.

By offering practical help instead of hollow words, we validate the struggle and move beyond empty platitudes toward real, compassionate support.